The Alliance
Meme It!Pam:Happy Birthday. [gives Meredith her card]
Michael:Read it out loud. And say who wrote everything so we know whose is the best.
Meredith:Happy Bird-day' Um... 'Meredith, good news. You're not actually a year older because you work here, where time stands still.'
Michael:[under his breath] I don't know about that.
Meredith:That was Stanley. 'Meredith, happy birthday, you're the best. Love, Pam.'
Michael:[pretends to vomit] Huh! Thanks, downer.
Meredith:This is from Michael. 'Meredith, let's hope the only downsizing that happens to you is that someone downsizes your age.'
Michael:Because of the downsizing. Rumors. And because you're gettin' old.
Meredith:No, I... I get it. It's funny.
Michael:[laughs] You didn't get the joke. So, that's cool. That's, you know what? Actually... I have a bunch of these, good ones, that I didn't use. Um... Oh, where's that? Oh, OK, here's a good one. Um... 'Hey Meredith, Liz Taylor called, she wants her age back and her divorces back.' 'Cause Meredith's been divorced like, twice. Is that right?
Meredith:You're right. You're right. Yes.
Michael:Divorce. Um... OK, 'Meredith is so old...'
Oscar:How old is she?
Michael:Everybody? If... could do it? 'Meredith is so old...'
Everybody:How old is she?
Michael:She's so old, she went into an antique store and they kept her.'
Michael:That wasn't even mine. I got that off the Internet. Website. Um, don't get mad at me.
Oscar:Uh, nice party Michael.
Michael:This isn't my fault. Ladies, not your best effort. The streamers? I think we could have done better than that.
Angela:Phyllis wanted red, I didn't.
Phyllis:Oh, boy... You...
Michael:OK, we... all right. People, hold on, hold on. Just a second. OK, I think we're losing sight of what is really important here. And that is that we are... a group of people... who work together. I was... I really wasn't gonna flaunt this. I have made a very sizable donation to Oscar's nephew's... walkathon. $25.
Oscar:Per mile.
Michael:Per mile, yes.